I Prefer the Term "Opportunity in Disguise."

In class today we talked about collaboration on personal projects through social media. I'd like to give it a try.

In my introductory blog post, I mentioned that I had written a book and had submitted it to Deseret Book for publication. I told everyone that I would let you know what they said when they got back to me in October. They got back to me this morning.

They said no.

When I read the email telling me that they were "we are not in a position to pursue this project with you," I felt naturally disappointed. However, I did not feel defeated. "Every author deals with rejection," I told myself. This was my first time submitting a book manuscript for publication. Although it would have been nice for my manuscript to have been accepted on my first submission try, I know that that rarely happens. I am in good company.

I do not know why they rejected my manuscript; they did not say and they do not want me to ask because "the demands of our editorial workload prevent us from sending detailed comments about your work." Possibly they already have a project in the works just like it. Possibly it was because they did not feel there was an audience for it. Possibly it was the writing quality. I just don't know.

But I'm not going to give up. Rejected is such a harsh word. I prefer to think of it as being given an opportunity in disguise.

Because I believe in myself as a writer and more than that I believe in what I have written about, I'm going to keep pursuing ways to get my ideas out there.

So, now what? I'd actually like to get some input on my ideas about that. We talked about collaboration through blogging and other social media sites in class today, and although it goes against my every English major instinct to collaborate on a very personal project, I'd like to try it.

My goal for writing this book was to get a conversation started, in a comfortable setting, about coming home early from an LDS mission through no fault of the missionary's. It seems to be a conversation that is hushed up, partly because its a hard thing for the missionary to talk about, but also partly because it's something no one really knows what to say when it happens. I thought that the best way to get the conversation started would be to write a book about my own experience of coming home twelve months early for health reasons (I served in the Philippines and came home early after contracting two parasites and two lengthy hospital stays). The finished manuscript acts as both a narrative that tells my story and also as a self-help book to help those who are struggling with feelings of inadequacy, unworthiness, anger, guilt, and even depression. I draw largely from my own experiences in the book, although I do include some experiences from others that I obtained permission to share.

When I came home, I struggled so much with the above feelings. Satan works on you so hard. I thought that if I had only been a better missionary (harder-working, better able to roll with the punches, happier), the Lord would have healed me and I would still be on my mission. I heard stories all the time about miracles happening on missions. I must have done something wrong.

My mom found an article in LDS Living about coming home early. It helped some, but I wanted more of the story. I wanted someone to talk to me about coming home early, not to others about how to talk to me.  I wanted someone to say, "I know how you feel!" I wanted more depth. I searched for a book like the one I wrote but couldn't find it anywhere. So I resolved to write it. And I did. I submitted the 3rd draft to an LDS publisher. It was rejected.

But I'm not done! I'm going to try again. I have several options:

1) Submit to another LDS publisher. Because my book is such a niche LDS book, I want it to get the appropriate respect an LDS publisher will give it. This is probably the best route and I am leaning towards this one.

2) Self-publishing. The plus side of this is that I have already accepted my work for publication. The downside is the up-front cost. I used to think self-publishing was only for those who couldn't write well enough to get a publisher to publish their books. And maybe that is true to some extent, but the more I learn about self-publishing, the more I realize how false that first assumption is. Quality work is produced and self-published. Again though, it's the upfront cost of paying for a good editor, a good graphic designer, and the medium for publication (print, ebook, etc.), and marketing--things that a publishing house would pay for for me. It's the risk of getting a good return for all of that upfront cost.

3) Submit to a non-LDS publisher. I just am hesitant to go down that road though. Again, I want it represented in the best possible light.

4) Do more research. I'm not the only one who came home early. Visit forums. Become an expert. Repent of my "I'm too good for social media" attitude and blog about what I find. Get feedback. Join an author's group. Become a better writer. Collaborate. Then, go back to the drawing board. Write the book. And have that much more credentials.

And if somebody else already beat me to the punch and DB will publish that manuscript instead, maybe blogging really is the best way to go about this topic. I'd love to get a book published; it's one of my biggest dreams. But I care more about getting this topic talked about rather than seeing my name on a printed book.

If this book isn't ready to be published yet, I'm glad there at least other options for me to get the conversation going. That's the beauty of the digital world.

So, anyways, I'm just now venturing into the world of serious publication through a potentially nontraditional route. I'm in the middle of a process and I'd appreciate any feedback, pointers, collaboration, etc. I'm looking for new opportunities to lead me to other opportunities. There's more than one way to make a dream come true.